Blame the Wind
by 0Twisted-Symphony6
Summary: “If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.” Alex has a secret and she believes she can keep it. But secrets are made to be found out with time, aren't they? T to be safe. Alex's POV. 1st WOWP fic
1. Prologue

**Blame the Wind**

"If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees."

**Disclaimer: I do not own Wizards of Waverly Place. And this will be the only time I'll say that.**

• • •

My life was never supposed to include this. Never did I expect to be sixteen, sitting on the floor of the bathroom, staring at a pregnancy test with a little pink plus sign.

• • •  
_8 Months Later_

April 5. That was the date she was born.

I would never forget about her, but everyone else would. They had to.

Sitting on my bed, I held the only proof of her I had. It was the ultrasound picture from when I found out I was having a girl.

Taking a deep breath, I began to speak.

"Mistakes I made nine months ago will be erased from memories and no longer be known."

And like that, with that simple spell, all knowledge of the fact that I ever gave birth to a baby girl was gone. The secret was mine again, and I would no longer be subjected to the disappointment of my friends and family.

All I would have to face was my own guilt. But I would swallow it, and move on with my life, wishing that, like everyone else, I could simply "forget."

**A/N: Alright, let me know what y'all think. I know it was short, but it's just the prologue. Should I continue? I'm not exactly sure where I want this to go but I have a couple ideas, should y'all wish me to proceed.**


	2. Memories I Can't Erase

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys! I really appreciate y'alls support. :) This chapter is fairly short, but it's longer than the prologue. I'll try my best to make chapters longer in the future. :)**

**April 8****th****, 2010**

"Alex!" Harper exclaimed as I arrived at school on. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!"

"I know!" I replied, hugging her.

We had seen each other on April 4th, though. The day _before_. Only 4 days previously.

"Did you lose weight?" she asked, before slapping her forehead. "That's a silly question. I just saw you! You couldn't have lost a noticeable amount of weight since then!"

"Yeah, Harper, that's crazy," I replied, shaking my head. It was true, though. Since she saw me last, I had lost weight. Only she didn't realize, because of the spell, that the weight I'd "lost" had been that of the baby I had been carrying inside me. "Now let's get to class."

"The bell hasn't rung and yet Alex Russo wants to get to class? Are you sick?"

"Maybe I'm just trying to be more responsible," I countered.

_Responsibility. Cuz I'm so good at that_. I thought. _Getting knocked up at sixteen is _so_ responsible.  
_  
"Haha, that's funny, Alex," Harper laughed as the bell rang.

"To Hell with responsibility then, I guess," I amended as we began to walk to first period.

•-•-•  
**May 1****st****, 2010**

Secrets are hard. But when they're a lot easier to keep if they're not current.

When I found out I was pregnant, the secret lasted all but a week. _  
_

---

_  
__**August 7**__**th**__**, 2009**_

_  
I sat on the bathroom floor, my head hanging over the cold, white toilet for the fifth day in a row. My tongue was acidic from the taste of the contents of by stomach that I'd just emptied._

_I heard a knock on the door._

_"Mija?" called my mother's voice. "Are you alright?"_

_I merely moaned. As I continued to throw up, I realized that my mom was coming in the bathroom._

_"Alex," my mom soothed, rubbing my back._

_I looked away from her. I wasn't going to tell her. Not right then. But then I made the mistake of glancing back into her eyes, and my secret flowed out._

_"Mom," I cried as I clung to her leg, resembling a timid, innocent child that I wished I was at that moment._

_"Yeah, baby?"_

_"I made a big mistake, Mom. You're gonna hate me." Tears rolled down my face and dripped over my lips, leaving a salty taste._

_"I won't hate you, Alex. You're my daughter. Now tell me about this mistake."_

_I could tell that she was pretty sure what I was going to say. The throwing up and the profession of "I made a big mistake" only added up to one thing._

_That made it so much harder to tell her. I felt like her eyes were pleading, "Please don't let her say that!"_

_But I said it:_

_"I'm pregnant."_

---

It had been almost a month since _the day_ and I still hadn't given away my secret. It was easier to pretend that I never was pregnant than to pretend I wasn't currently. Because of that fact, I was still the only one in the world who knew that I, Alex Russo, had a 27 day old daughter, a human being who shared my DNA, out in the world somewhere.

**A/N: Hope y'all liked it! So I've basically decided that there will be a lot of flashbacks in this story. Some to when Alex was pregnant, some to before/when she got pregnant...but there will also be a lot of current stuff...dealing with the secret, the pain of the adoption, etc.**

Speaking of the Alex getting pregnant thing: I can't decide quite how she got pregnant. I'd like to hear your input. I don't know if I'll definitely go with what you suggest, but I'd like to hear it...

**So here are the considerations:**

**Knocked up by...  
****boyfriend (first time)  
boyfriend (they'd been having sex for awhile)  
someone she had a crush on for a while, but never actually went out with  
some dude at a party (after getting drunk)  
other (be specific)**


	3. Silently Screaming

**A/N: Alright, this chapter took me a long time. I couldn't quite figure out what I wanted to write…anyway, hope y'all like it!**

I'm not, nor was I ever, a slut. But when I got pregnant, everyone assumed I was.

I didn't sleep around. I've only slept with two different guys.

My ex-boyfriend, Dean, and I slept together a couple times when we were together.

The other guy was Parker Adams. It was over two months after I broke up with Dean, and I'd had a crush on him on and off again for the last four years.

---  
**_June 29, 2009_**

_"Hey, Alex," I heard Parker say as I shut my locker, "are you busy tonight?"_

_"No!" I exclaimed quickly, not hiding my excitement. "I mean, um. I don't know. Let me check my calendar...Nope! I'm free!"_

_Parker laughed. Smiling at him, I allowed myself to lean my back against the lockers._

_"Cool," he replied. "You wanna hang out then?" he flashed his signature smile, showing off his perfect teeth._

_"I'd love to," I said, trying to maintain my composure. Parker moved closer and leaned his arm against the locker above my head._

_"Alright, then I'll meet you at your house at 6?"_

_"Sounds good to me," I replied, letting out a nervous giggle._

_• • •  
**That Night**_

_Parker and I went to the park for about an hour before he suggested that we go watch a movie at his house._

_"You look beautiful tonight, by the way," Parker complemented mid-way through the movie, staring into my eyes._

_I blushed. "Thank you." I couldn't pull my gaze from his. Slowly we moved closer, and then our lips barely touched. We pulled back slightly._

_"I've liked you for a long time," I whispered to him, our lips less than an inch apart. Taking a deep breath, I kissed him forcefully, pushing him back against the arm of the couch._

_Parker shifted so he was horizontal on the couch, and I straddled his body._

_"When are your parents coming home?" I asked between kisses._

_"Not til tomorrow night," he replied._

_"Good." I pulled his shirt over his head and he followed suit with mine._

_Soon all our clothes were laying scattered on the floor._

---

I had thought that after our rendezvous, Parker and I were a couple. Apparently, that wasn't true though. We went on a date - which wasn't quite like our first - the next day, and then again two days later. When I found out less than a week later, however, that Parker had gone out with Kylee Patterson the night I wasn't with him, I ended whatever "relationship" we had. I wanted more than no strings attached.

---  
**June 5, 2010**

Two months.

I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

It had been two months and I still thought of her every single day.

I flipped over and buried my face in my pillows. I felt the need to block out the world. I grabbed another pillow and used my arms to sandwich my head between the two.

I screamed.

Nobody would hear me; my face was too immersed in fluff and cotton. I just had to let out the scream. My eyes were closed tight, but I could feel tears surfacing.

When I pulled my face from the pillows, I realized that my mom was walking in the room. I sat up, trying to act normal.

"Alex, time for—" My mom stopped as she saw my face. By this time, tears had fallen and it was definitely noticeable. "Are you alright, honey?"

I looked away from her. I couldn't tell her the truth. Not this time.

"Nah, I'm fine," I lied, attempting to regain my composure.

"Alright," she spoke, unconvinced. "It's dinner time, by the way."

"I, uh...I'm not hungry."

"Okay. Well, I'll make a plate for you and put it in the fridge so you can come get it later, okay?"

I nodded and attempted a smile. "Thanks."

As my mom left the room, I sighed and fell back into a lying position and let the tears continue falling.

**A/N: Review please! As you can see…I didn't really use the suggestions I got…well…I SORTA did…but I didn't…**


	4. That Look

**A/N: Ok, so it's been too long. I'm sorry…I'm not really used to writing as I post…normally I have several chapters written before I post more, but I'm not doing that with this story…So I'm sorry…**

**Um, to clear up any confusion – not that any of you asked, but w/e – I realized that in the last chapter, Parker was supposed to have asked Alex out at school, but it was the end of June. Let's just say that, since, as we all know, Alex isn't a great student, she was in summer school 'Kay? Good. Sorry about that. I didn't even think about that. Anyway, here y'all are:**

June 9th, 2010  
  
School had been out since the fourth, but Wizard Classes were still in session - they were year round!

"Dad, I could be shopping right now," I complained. In the past several months, shopping wasn't very important to me, but I continued to do it on a regular basis to keep up appearances. If my parents realized that I only tolerated shopping anymore, they would find it suspicious.

"Alex, this is a really important lesson you guys are gonna learn today."

"You always say that, Dad," I reminded him with a sarcastic scoff.

"Well, they ALL are important, but this particular one is probably one of the most important lessons of them all." My dad took my hand which was plastered to my hip - I was standing in an annoyed position, with my right hand on my hipbone, the other hand by my side, my head tilted, and an "Are you serious?" look on my face - and lead me to the couch, next to Max. "Now: sit down and shut up."

I rolled my eyes, letting myself be overcome by the façade of my disapproval of our lessons. These lessons were like shopping - my views on it had changed. It wasn't so bad anymore.

"Okay, today we're going to work on Memory Erasing spells." My breathing seemed to stop. "These are very important, but are for EMERGENCY use only." I finally remembered how to breathe, but I realized I was practically hyperventilating. "That means you, Alex."

"What?" I squeaked out, unable to control my fear, or so it seemed to me. It sounded like my voice was two pitches higher than usual.

"Don't 'what?' me! We all know that you are a rule-breaker."

Regaining myself, I innocently replied, "Who me?" I forced a laugh and stared at my dad with my big brown eyes.

"Stop that, Alex!" he cried. I knew it was difficult for him to take the other side when I looked at him with that angelic face.

"Dad, didn't you already teach us about these kinds of spells?" Max asked.

"What?!" I cried, my voice extremely high-pitched. "No he didn't! We've never learned these spells before!" I was suddenly extremely nervous again. Max was right. Six months ago, when I was about five months along, we had this lesson. That was when I got the idea to erase everyone's memory of me being pregnant.

My dad thought for a moment. "No, I think I would remember if I taught you this," he concluded. "Like I said, this is a very important lesson."

"See, what'd I tell you, Max?" I spoke fast and nervously. "Alright, dad, let's start the lesson, Dad!"

"You sure are eager, Alex. Is there something up?"

"No, no!" I quickly denied. "Nothing's up. Can't I just be eager?"

My dad gave me a questioning gaze. Ignoring my seemingly silly question, he continued.

As my dad began the lesson, I let out a sigh.

If I was going to keep this secret, I needed to hold back my nerves.

Not paying attention, as I had already learned what my dad was teaching, I watched my dad's face. Now, whenever I looked at him, I couldn't help but remember the expression he wore when I had told him I was pregnant.

- - -

_August 7, 2009_

_It had been two days since I told my mom. As she sat on the bathroom floor, my head in her lap as I cried, she told me I would have to tell my father._

_So on the couch I sat, my fingers tapping absentmindedly against my thigh. I had finally gotten up the nerve to tell him. My chest shook with nerves as I breathed. My dad sat across from me in the armchair, waiting for me to speak. Max and Justin were oh-so obviously eavesdropping from the hallway, waiting to witness me getting in trouble. I rolled my eyes slightly. Well, that's two less people I'll have to tell, I thought._

"_So, Alex," my dad stared, "what did you want to tell me?"_

_I took a deep breath. "I…I, uh…"_

"_You got expelled, didn't you?"_

_I shook my head. "No, Dad, it's summer vacation, how could I have gotten expelled?" My dad shrugged, and I could tell he was thinking, Oh, you'd find a way, Alex. "This is worse though, I think," I continued quietly. I took another deep breath and stared at my toes. "Dad, I'm pregnant."_

_Though I wasn't looking at him, I could tell that my dad's eyes were widening more and more by the second. _

"_You're what?!" my dad screeched, standing up. "Look at me!"_

_I lifted my head and looked at him, tears filling my eyes. Despite his harsh tone, he didn't look very angry. What I saw in his eyes was much worse: disappointment._

"_I'm sorry, Daddy," I spoke softly. "I'm so sorry. I know I messed up." Tears dropped from my eyes and rolled down my face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."_

**A/N: That seems disappointingly short compared to what it looks like on my phone and on the back of the piece of non-lined white paper with my attendance printout on the back. LOL. Anyway, I'll try not to take as much time with the next update!!! :)**


	5. Hole

**A/N: Oh my god, I'm back! I honestly thought I was going to abandon this fic. I had no ideas or inspiration for it. But I didn't abandon it! Yay!**

**This chapter is dedicated to KimmySaurus and cookiedough205 for adding my story to alert and favoriting it, respectively. Now, you're probably wondering why it's them in particular. Well, yesterday [okay, it's 3 am, it was technically 2 days ago], I got an email about this story in regards to each of these users. Later that day, I was hit by some major initiative to write this story. I think, subconsciously, it's because of them and those emails. :) So thanks for having faith in me, despite the fact that it had been 3 months since I updated. :P **

**Anyway, without further ado, here ya go:**

**November 15, 2009  
**  
_I walked through the hallway, my eyes scanning the people around me. They were whispering. About me. I knew it was about me._

Some people would stare at me while they talked to someone else, others would try to discreetly point. But I knew they were all talking about me.

I was four and a half months pregnant, and the bump on my normally thin figure was excruciatingly noticeable.

I got to my locker and started to get my books out. I took a bite of the cheeseburger that magically appeared for me every day at that time—half way between breakfast and lunch—and then closed the locker door, burger in hand.

I jumped when I saw a face where the locker had been open.

"Alex." It was Parker.

I smiled nervously. "Hi, Parker! Cheeseburger?"

"Where did that come from?" he asked, staring at the burger for a moment before returning his eyes to mine. "You know what, never mind. We need to talk."

I tried to act nonchalant as Parker began to lead me outside to a more secluded area. "Whatever, more for me," I told him, taking a bite.

"Alex, forget about the burger! I need you to tell me something really important. Are you pregnant?"

My chewing slowed. I knew he was going to ask that, but it still shocked me to hear the question come from his mouth.

I swallowed my food and looked away, over Parker's shoulder. My eyes focused on a squirrel running up and down a tree a couple dozen feet away.

"Tell me, Alex. Don't you think I have the right to know?"

My voice was hoarse as I held back tears. "Yeah," I replied, nodding slowly.

"Yeah, as in you're pregnant?"

I nodded again, sure I wouldn't be able to get another word out quite yet.

"What are we going to do?" Parker asked softly, grabbing my hands. "It is my baby, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I told him softly. "Yeah, she's yours."

Parker hesitated. "S-she?" he stuttered.

I nodded. "I found out yesterday. Um...but you don't have to worry...about doing anything. There's nothing for us_ to do."_

Parker looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"I'm," I started, trying to gain the courage to tell him, "I'm not keeping her."

His face fell. "Oh. Well..." Parker struggled for the right words to say. "I don't get a say in this?"

I stared at my feet. "I can't have a baby at sixteen, Parker."

"Too late, Alex! You're already pregnant; you can't just give away our_ baby without discussing it with me!" he yelled, becoming increasingly frustrated._

"Actually I can, Parker. I'm the one who's pregnant. We're not married. I have the only real say in the matter. Besides—our_ baby, Parker? Oh, come on! You practically abandoned me after we slept together! You and I barely have anything."_

"Maybe if you would have told me about you being fucking pregnant before you started expanding enough that the whole school is talking about it, we could have had something. I could have helped you!" Parker argued.

"I don't want to be your pity girlfriend!" I screamed at him, my hormones in full throttle. "I don't want you to be with me just because you knocked me up! I don't want that kind of relationship, okay? You didn't want to be with me four and a half months ago, and I know you don't want to be with me now. Just cut the crap, okay, Parker? I'm putting the baby up for adoption, and you're not going to change my mind."

I turned and walked away from Parker, leaving him speechless for several moments. I was not blind to the crowds of people who had gathered around us and now surely knew—without a doubt, as it was confirmed straight from the horse's mouth—that I was pregnant.

"Get the hell away from me!" I heard Parker scream from behind me. "It isn't any of your damn business!"

I wiped away tears from my eyes as I made my way to class, for once being one of the first ones there.  


**July 5, 2010**

I cross another day off the calendar. It's now July 5th. My daughter was born three months ago.

God, how I wish I could see her face. I never got to see her. My heart feels empty. It's like there is a huge hole, and the only thing that can fill it is her.

I love her so much and I never even met her.

Thinking back, I wish Parker did have some say in the adoption. I wish I never gave her up. I want to hold her in my arms.

It's 3:47 in the morning. I haven't slept well in the last three months. My mind can't get off of her. I want her to be _my_ baby, not somebody else's.

I wish I knew her name. I didn't name her. They did. Her..._parents_. They didn't tell me what name they picked.

It might be harder if I did know her name though. I might hate the name and think "I would have named her this."

In case you're wondering, I would have named her Emily. I've always loved that name. Emily Abigail. I picked out names for when I had kids when I was thirteen. I didn't expect I'd have one so soon. But it didn't matter. I didn't get to name her anyway. But I know that now I can never name a child of mine Emily. Because it seems like that belongs to _her_.

I stare at the ultrasound picture. Tears stream down my face, and I am on the verge of sobbing. She was so perfect, and I just let her go. I've never regretted something so much in my life.

**A/N: Yayyy for an update, right? :) Hope y'all liked it. :D I think there should be another one soon. I'm still feeling inspired. :D**


	6. Walking Through New York City

Blame the Wind 5

**A/N: Look how quick this update was! Ok, now…I know it took a LONG time to update, but I only got ONE review last chapter…I'm hoping for…maybe FIVE this time?**

**July 26, 2010**

I'm sitting with Harper in the sub station, listening to her go on and on about how great of an accessory pineapple is. As much as I love Harper, this is not an interesting story. Her fashion stories never are. I'd much rather just eat some pineapple than wear it.

"If you coat the pineapple rings in that spray that keeps stickiness and bugs away, you can make them into really great earrings! You know what else is awesome? Using the outside of the pineapple—with the spikes—to make a belt! It's almost like wearing studs! Except its pineapple! So it's not against school rules. Plus, the fact that its yellow is so much cheerier than the black those studded belts usually are."

I nod, pretending to be interested. "Mhmm, cheerier," I offer. "You know what, Harper, let's go to Central Park!"

"Alex, Central Park is over an hour away walking! It's 4 o'clock. I have to be home for dinner at 7:30. By the time we got to Central Park, we'd practically have to leave!"

I roll my eyes. "How about Time Square? Forty minutes away; that gives us almost two hours there!"

"Fine," Harper relents, grabbing her purse from the chair next to her.

I smile. "Awesome, I'm going to go get my purse from my bedroom! I'll be right back!"

I quickly make my way up to my bedroom and grab my purse, checking that there is adequate money. I grab another twenty dollars from my piggy bank and run back downstairs to Harper.

"Mom, Harper and I are gonna walk to Time Square! We'll be back in a few hours!"

"Have fun, sweetheart," my mom calls.

I smile and begin to walk out with Harper. As we walk along the sidewalks, I can't help but remember when I told Harper I was pregnant. It happened on a day just like this.

**August 17, 2009**

_Harper and I walked along the sidewalk, making our way to a favorite destination of ours: Manhattan Mall._

I was silent as we walked, not even pretending_ to be interested in Harper's story. My head was up in space. I didn't even know what she was talking about. I hadn't the faintest clue._

"Alex, are you okay? You're really quiet today," Harper pointed out. "Actually, you've been pretty quiet for the last week."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, forcing a bit of a smile.

We were silent for a few moments as we continued to walk. I watched my feet move, trusting I would not run into anything.

"I'm pregnant," I told Harper.

I briefly looked up at Harper, only to see a two hundred pound man slam into her as she stopped dead in her tracks. I slowed, trying to avoid having someone collide with me, and walked back to where Harper had stopped.

I grabbed her arm, pulling her out of the middle of the sidewalk, and stood across from her, watching her shocked expression. She stuttered, looking for a response.

"I think I must have heard you wrong," she finally replied, her voice low. "There's no way you just told me that you're pregnant." I stared into her eyes—my face serious—not saying a thing. "You're really pregnant, aren't you?"

I nodded slowly, on the verge of tears.

Harper wrapped her arms around me without a word and I broke down into sobs.

"Have you told your parents?" she asked. I nodded. "What about the father? Whose baby is it?"

"Parker Adams," I responded softly. "He doesn't know. I don't think I'm going to tell him." I was quiet for a moment, tears rolling down my face non-stop, before I spoke again, my voice weak. "I don't know what to do."

People rushed past us, some staring at me, but I ignored them. I needed to let out all my emotions. I needed the comfort of Harper's arms and words.

"It's going to be alright," Harper told me.

"I'm having a baby—at sixteen! This can't be happening!" I tried to wipe away tears, but more covered my face as quickly as I could get rid of them. "What do I do, Harper? Do you think I can raise a kid when I'm still a kid myself?"

"I don't know," Harper replied. "Maybe you could put the baby up for adoption."

"I could get an abortion," I suggested softly. Harper's eyes widened.

"You...couldn't do that, Alex. I know you. You wouldn't be able to have an abortion."

"It's an option," I replied softly. Harper was silent. She nervously bit her lip. "Forget the mall," I told my best friend, "let's just go home."

Harper nodded. "How 'bout we stop at the grocery store and pick up some ice cream and candy and then grab a movie and have a girls' day in?"

"Yeah," I replied, my voice hoarse from crying, "that sounds good." I smiled at Harper and gave her a huge hug. "Thank you, Harper." 

**A/N: I hope you liked it! Harper is a HARD character to write! :|**


End file.
